The word is out, Scottsdale has become apparently the COUGAR capital.  Young barely men are approaching my girlfriends & I when we are out. The latest incidence was interesting we were eating in a nice restaurant minding our own business when this young guy ( the youngest I have had the pleasure of being flirted with) comes over & asks us how our food is? Delicious we answered… We assumed he worked there!  He doesn’t, he was apparently trolling for what he assumed are cougars looking for baby cubs. He told us about the clubs in old town Scottsdale that he & his homies  from Chicago frequent. What are you ladies up to after dinner, ” I’m going home”   Ahh the night’s still young… “so are you”  I replied..…BYE BYE BABY!

            Dating at this stage is not for the faint of heart !  I personally have been out with almost every tool in the shed, the one with the loose screw, the flat tire that needs a pump, the one that gets hammered, then there’s the dust collecting mower & I never saw the miter saw coming! 

 The competition out there is fierce, beautiful women are a dime a dozen… you need to be more than just another pretty face, you have to believe you are worthy & deserving of someone that is respectful of you. Men are genetically wired to be visual creatures, they are drawn to beauty & they are also by nature TOOLS ( I don’t  doubt for a second that GOD is a man, I bet there are Home Depots in Heaven along with Victoria Secret Angels)… tools in all shapes, conditions & sizes looking to nail something at every turn. 

 We gals need to protect our selves from flying sharp objects, so put your safety goggles on, get that weed eater out & keep on weeding out the bad guys from the good guys…IT’S TOOL TIME!!

         When a woman feels SAFE  it is not just about security. I had a girlfriend tell a man she was dating right after her divorce she felt SAFE with him. He became alarmed thinking her ex husband may be stalking her, he thought he might come after him. What he did not understand at the time is that she was trying to tell him she felt SAFE with him in an emotional way, she thought he was honest & had integrity, she began to open up to him, it had nothing to do with security issues!! Although women do want & need to feel protected by their partner physically if they are in harms way, we also need to more importantly feel SAFE  in an emotional way. We need to be able to trust our partner when we fall in love & know that we are cherished!!  So if and when a woman tells a man they feel SAFE  it is a GOOD THING….it doesn’t mean you need to go packing a pistol for Pete’s sake!!

People often ask me how I stay so thin a friend just asked me at lunch today… Haven’t you heard it is the Humble Pie diet I have been on. I have been eating humble pie weekly, sometimes even daily for the past several months…. Seriously I can’t keep weight on!  The recipe is as follows: Begin with a ready made pie crust from your refrigerator section in your local grocery store.

                                                3 heaping cups of sifted H umility  (a bit of humility is good for you)

                                                4 tbsp of unending  U pheavel

                                                 2 M minced manic moves,

                                                 followed by B ,a bottle of booze ( your preference)

                                                 fold in  L lack of sleep (no lumps)

                                                 throw in a ripe  E eponymous ex ( for a little kick) !! 

 Bake at 350 for 30 minutes & WAHLA you have my famous  HUMBLE PIE  … *weight loss results may vary due to how much or how little HUMBLE PIE one eats!! ** Be sure to check with your doctor ( if you still have insurance) before going on this diet!! Total strangers will look at you with envy & say I want what she’s having!  Yum!    BONE APPETITE!

     It dawned on me like a light bulb illuminating in complete darkness, after all these years, multiple degrees & life experiences the only person that can really heal you is YOU! All the counselors, friends & money in the world can guide you, give you great advice but in the end the only person that can make the real difference & the changes is YOU!!  Work on yourself, read the books, talk to people who may know something you don’t, it is all good, but realize ultimately YOU are the one with the capacity to make the change, YOU are the one that can finally see the light, YOU are more powerful than YOU ever imagined…once YOU are in touch with that knowledge look out!!  HEAL  THY  SELF…     HEALTHY SELF…. LOVE….j

        People ask me how I am doing with all the changes that have been going on in my life…. to that I say….” sometimes you just have to trust that change is good & that everything happens for a reason”. The first year of my divorce was ” crazy town”  my friends & I can laugh about it now…. but believe me I lived  in “ crazy town”  yes there is such a place… I was the deputy sheriff !!  Selling my home, moving, multiple court hearings, no financial support from my ex, a new job, being a single mom of teens,two dogs (more mouths to feed) & trying to date…..can you say CRAZY TOWN !! from my experience trying to have a normal, emotionally healthy relationship with someone new right after a divorce can be a challenge….with so much going on it is not a fair shake down for the other person.  So do give yourself time to slow down, pray, breathe, play & reboot !!

          Friends tell me they are seeing glimmers of the old me…I’m leaving “ CRAZY TOWN” there’s a NEW SHERIFF in town…apparently  CRAZY TOWN is booming in this recession… there is a wait- list to move in ….. I am happily moving on to a quieter, charming place called………Stars Hollow !!!    LOL…j

  Stars Hollow Connecticut