So Linda Hogan is 50ish & she is engaged to a 21 year old guy… OK 30 years is a big age difference for both men & women regardless…but for the first time in our culture dating younger men has become Vogue & mainstream….. If you are a beautiful, successful woman why shouldn’t you have the choice to date whoever you want? Men have been allowed that choice forever so why do people make a big deal about it??  The reality is it really is no one Else’s business who you are attracted to.… I have a few girl friends that absolutely only want to date younger men….it is their life….so before we put our 2 cents in on these confident women we should be proud that the tables are turning & women have more choices today then ever….. we don’t have to settle for the guys with the paunch, bad teeth & bad hair!!  HOORAY!!!

How long after you are dating someone should you tell them things about your life that may or may not scare them away?? Well certainly not on the first few dates… I say you should tell them before things get too complicated ( fall in love) because then not too much of your heart has been invested. I feel that the other person should have the opportunity to decide OK I can handle this or maybe not! Sometimes people break up with someone because they are convinced they will be rejected if their secrets are exposed. I say be honest, be strong & if they stick around then you have a… KEEPER someone who is there for the right reasons…….& isn’t that what we all want!!!

IN WITH THE NEW… After my divorce I started to visualize what I wanted my new life to look like. I know it  may sound silly but it is what got me through the unknown especially at night when I couldn’t sleep!  The law of attraction says you should not  focus on what you don’t want but consistently think about what you DO WANT. I kept thinking about a new design style for my next place even though my house was not even on the market crazy huh?? Real estate in Arizona is one of the worst in the country but ( pretty much out of nowhere) I got a contract on my house! After I moved in  to my new place & looked around one day it dawned on me that I am getting closer to where I want to be in this new phase of my life & it is a pretty powerful experience!! Mmmmm NEXT I am visualizing……

My friends & I were talking about when you are dating someone & he invites you on a weekend getaway…  The fear of being cooped up with someone & finding out about their nuances & annoying little habits can be a bit stressful for a lot of us: the big question does he snore?? ( bring a sleeping pill just in case) will you snore (of course not), sharing the bathroom the HELLO… lack of privacy, morning bed head, waking up with out makeup ( eventually you have to take it off ) breath mints by the bed, etc .. as scary as the prospect is, it is a good way to really see by Sunday how compatible you’ll be with someone that is for sure…

There are MANY types of men out there some are Keepers & others not!!  The ten type of men you should AVOID at all costs:

1. The Biggie: married men, really ladies it will just lead to bigger problems & heartache, think Tiger & Jessie!!

2. The Player: the eternal single guy, his longest relationship lasted only 6 months, the ADD dating guy with a very short attention span!!!

3. The Pick Up Artist: smooth talking, good looking, not used to rejection, picking up women is his career!!

4 The Alcoholic:  very narcissistic & they usually have other addictions as well a BIG NO NO!!

5 The Mama’s Boy: it is one thing to love your mama but some men may be a little too attached, maybe even living at home… yikes!!

6. The Cheapskate: it is one thing to be frugal but being cheap is a BIG turn off !!

7 The Frequent Job Changer: the guy who is still trying to figure out what he wants to be when he grows up & he is in his 40’s !!

8 The Whiner: the guy who talks too much about his ex may still have unresolved feelings… recommend therapy…next!!

9. The Compulsive Liar:  when you ask questions they do not look you in the eye… a pretty good indication they are not being truthful!!

10. The Bully: guys who push people around, hot tempered, jealousy issues, may be physically abusive towards women RUN to the nearest exit!!

I use to in jest tell my ex he was a way better boyfriend than husband… but there was more than a little bit of truth there!  Boyfriends are much more attentive… my girlfriends and I have compared stories of what our husbands did for us (moved mountains) before we got married!! Now that I am single again it is nice getting the attention that often wanes in marriage. Husbands sometimes after they get the prize put the trophy in the closet & take it out once in a while. With a boyfriend there may be lots of affection & attention but no exclusivity set in place so until you have a ring or some other commitment  keep your independence & your life yours…keep your options open…….  ENJOY!

OK when you go through a tough breakup you need & want to talk about it.  This is where good therapists come in handy…now I know I was guilty of this with some of my family members & close friends hashing things over & over like a broken record!!  Thank you for listening… but you do not want to push your problems on other people too much!  I had a couple of friends that went through nasty divorces & they wanted to talk about it all the time to the point it was becoming toxic to our friendship.  I said one day you have 10 minutes to talk about your ex & then we don’t mention his name the rest of the night!  It was challenging at first but hopefully your friends will get the hint in a nice way, realize that it gets old (yawn fest) & it is time to change the subject!!

When you go through a divorce getting back on that horse ( so to speak) again is a scary thing for most women!!  First we wonder if we will ever want to get back on the horse & then we wonder if we will find someone that wants us too! It is very normal to feel apprehensive about the whole thing! If you are lucky to find someone that you are actually attracted to then that makes it much easier to transition into a sexual relationship!  Now transitional love often times is just that… it is not necessarily going to be what I call a keeper relationship but in its own way it can be a healing & wonderful experience!

What happens when your forever love doesn’t last forever?  Recently some girlfriends & I talked about this…can you ever feel secure in your marriage? By that I mean look at all the long term marriages that are falling apart after 30,40 even 50 years of marriage. Yes 50 years… my girlfriend had family friends that celebrated their 50 year wedding anniversary with a lovely party, a week later the husband left his wife for another woman he apparently had a 27 year long affair with!! Really why the heck didn’t he leave on their 25th anniversary??  Everyone was shocked…  he passed away a couple of years later… leaving quite a mess behind…SERIOUSLY can any of us ever be sure??

My Friday beat down… while most of the country is feeling the economic melt down… Jennifer Lopez is apparently out of the American Idol gig because her demands were too great! What a surprise!!  I don’t know about you but Diva demands right now are not exactly attractive or appropriate in any form especially in this economic environment!  Another Diva wanna be Teresa from the NJ housewives is still putting the financial squeeze on her hubby… hey Joe what’s in your wallet?? Maybe he is a magician… can you imagine the 4 weddings he is gonna have to pull out of a hat???   I am just sayin’…