As I am wrapping up my first book, I am having to think about my BOOK COVER, what I want it to look like.  Which brings me to the saying ” you can’t always judge a book by its cover”. How true but when it comes to dating we tend to do that, we sum people up pretty quickly based on what is on the outside. We need to be more open, get to know people before we dismiss them. I remember going out with a guy I thought was cute, but a bit older than I really wanted & a lot shorter than what I typically like, but I gave him a chance & he grew on me . In this crazy dating world we need to be more flexible & realistic about what truly matters when it comes to matters of the HEART!!!

This is an old German word referring to ghosts of a living person or any other physical double like your supposed twin. For example apparently there is a gal, my double in Scottsdale that has a much more exciting life than me. I will be out running mundane errands & some guy will come up & say hey didn’t I see you last night at such & such bar getting crazy? ”Ahh no I was home watching a movie with my dog last night”. They look at me like yeah right ?? Lately this word has been used to describe men that are attracted to women that look like or have very similar features to women they serial  date or even have been married to.  For instance men that are attracted to me, tall, thin, & blonde are attracted to the 1 million plus other tall, thin blonde’s in Scottsdale. Makes a gal feel special…what about what is on the inside DOPPELGANGERS ??

 The word is out, Scottsdale has become apparently the cougar capital.  Young barely men are approaching my girlfriends & I when we are out. The latest incidence was hilarious we were eating in a nice restaurant minding our own business when this young guy ( the youngest I have had the pleasure of being flirted with) comes over & asks us how our food is? Delicious we answered… We assumed he worked there!  He doesn’t,he is just another boy toy trolling for what he assumed are cougars looking for baby cubs. He told us about the clubs in old town Scottsdale that he & his homies  from Chicago frequent. What are you ladies up to after dinner, ” I’m going home”   Ahh the night’s still young & “so are you”  I replied..…BYE BYE BABY!

I  like Jenny McCarthy want a man’s man, a MEAT & POTATOES  kind of guy. I too want a mid western style guy, not a transplant from 20-30 years ago who has been jaded by Arizona & California standards but one who is there now. I don’t want a guy who gets more manicures & pedicures than me!! I don’t want a guy who is into botox, fillers, nips,tucks, dying his hair, eats only fish & drinks chardonnay.  I want a man who says what he means & means what he says, works hard, plays hard & is not afraid of a wrinkle  !! A man who thinks nothing of eating a good steak, potatoes & ice cream too!!  He works it off doing manly things… I don’t want a FAT man just a REAL man who eats in moderation not someone who eats like… dare I say it… a fussy girl!!

            Dating at this stage is not for the faint of heart !  I personally have been out with almost every tool in the shed, the one with the loose screw, the flat tire that needs a pump, the one that gets hammered, then there’s the dust collecting mower & I never saw the miter saw coming!  The competition out there is fierce, beautiful women are a dime a dozen… So you need to be more than just another pretty face, you have to believe you are worthy & deserving of someone that is respectful of you. Men are genetically wired to be visual creatures, they are drawn to beauty & they are also by nature TOOLS ( I don’t  doubt for a second that GOD is a man, I bet there are Home Depots in Heaven along with Victoria Secret Angels)… tools in all shapes, conditions & sizes looking to nail something at every turn.  We gals need to protect our selves from flying sharp objects, so put your safety goggles on, get that weed eater out & keep on weeding out the bad guys from the good guys…IT’S TOOL TIME!!

         When a woman feels SAFE  it is not just about security. I had a girlfriend tell a man she was dating right after her divorce she felt SAFE with him. He became alarmed thinking her ex husband may be stalking her, he thought he might come after him. What he did not understand at the time is that she was trying to tell him she felt SAFE with him in an emotional way, she thought he was honest & had integrity, she began to open up to him, it had nothing to do with security issues!! Although women do want & need to feel protected by their partner physically if they are in harms way, we also need to more importantly feel SAFE  in an emotional way. We need to be able to trust our partner when we fall in love & know that we are cherished!!  So if and when a woman tells a man they feel SAFE  it is a GOOD THING….it doesn’t mean you need to go packing a pistol !!